A love letter in sweet honesty.

To the Most loving...

You must love me because,

I need to wake up everyday knowing my parents are okay, I really do.

When I walk to school, I must not meet with an accident, I must not.

I need my limbs, my eyes, my mouth, my youth to be with me...they cannot be damaged, for that will be pain I cannot bear.

You cannot let anything happen to my brothers and sisters too.

That famine in Africa, natural disaster in Haiti and Indonesia..they are just not for me.

You have to love me, Allah, and protect me from all that. You must.

But, You have to understand that i can't love you the 'same' way.

You must understand that I cannot obey all your rules.

I have needs and I cannot be patient with all that rules.

I'm sorry, yes, but...what can i do?

You must love me and give me air, or I'll die.

You are the Most Loving, remember?

But You can't expect me to say thanks all the time. I forget easily.

I know I cannot live without your love, but You can without mine...

Lastly Allah...

I cannot stand the Fire..You must save me from it. I want to be a dweller of Paradise.

.........................

While this may not be the speech of the tongue, but it may well be the louder speech, that of our actions.

...too much?

please help Haiti.

A massive earthquake hit Haiti around 5pm, January 12th 2010...

An estimated number of 45,000 to 50,000 people are dead.

AT THE SCENE

Andy Gallacher, BBC News, Haiti

Despite the promises of aid here there is still no sign of an organised relief effort.

Out in the streets of Port-au-Prince, the situation is now critical.

The voices that were being heard from inside the collapsed buildings have now fallen silent.

Haitians feel desperately alone, they are doing the best to fend for themselves but this is a place with no infrastructure.

People can only dig through buildings with their hands in an attempt to rescue any survivors.

You can help here.

Books that Shook the World series.

I just finished this biography and I think it's a very satisfying read :) . If you've been reading the Quran but like me, don't really know much and would like to know how some prominent thinkers are said to search the Quran, try this book. It's not trying to influence you, it's just informing. :)

Only after I completed reading it that I noticed it's part of the "Books that Shook the World" series. More to read, more to know and more to ponder upon Insha Allah.

A special day. Part 2.

The Academic Radiology department had a lunch before we all break up for holidays today, in the Hemsley, near Portland building.

So, after lunch, driven by a text message saying they want to perform a solah for our friend, Ariff (solat jenazah ghaib) in Portland building after Asr..I decided to do my Asr prayer there.

In the sister's prayer room, a group of sisters were discussing in a halaqah (a circle). And, I heard many questions asked and answered and discussed.

And after all this, a sister said "Hold my hand."

And a sister next to her said, "Yes, I was going to before you said it."

This sister continued to say "Ash.hadu.al.."

And the first sister followed.

Until the complete Shahadah was uttered.

I literally. froze. My Quran was lowered and I looked straight at them. And the second sister smiled at me and said " She embraced Islam." .

Allahuakbar. I have never witnessed a reversion ever in my life. It was a decision between paradise and hell and she was so.......calm.

"It's like I have been driven by a motor lately and when I said it, it's like I should have said it a long time ago." said the sister.

I should have embraced her but I was so amazed I just sat there. Instead, I just looked at her, smiled and somehow uttered "Congratulations."...........and resumed reading the Quran.

My reaction was so inappropriate to picture the myriad of feeling I felt in me from witnessing one more person in this world choosing to uphold the principle:

There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His messenger.

My principle.

That only what He thinks of me matters. This freedom from anyone's judgement, from social pressure, from anything else.

Alhamdulillah...I had a chance to make up for it. I met her in her very first aqidah class with my teacher, Teacher Fullah at the same place as before.

I sat in a small circle of three students and a teacher.

One was me, a muslim by birth. One was Nicole. She grew up an atheist, and now a muslim. And the other was Stephanie, a christian who just reverted to Islam a few hours ago.

All from different countries, from completely different backgrounds, languages, skin colour, you name it.

Here to learn what La ilaha ilallah means in our lives. Aqidah.

Truly, Allah showed me Islam on this day.

"O mankind! We have created you from male and a female, and have made you nations and tribes that you may know one another. The noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct. Allah is Knower, Aware." Al Hujurat, 13.

Like I was given a chance to be in the early days of Islam, when the only similarity between people was just La ilaha ilallah, Muhammad rasulullah.

And I felt special. :)

....

A special day. Part 1.

Today was a special day.

The day began with a news of death of Ariff. He died in a car crash on his return from saying his vows in marriage (akad nikah) this morning. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raa'jiun. (We belong to Allah and to Him we return).

I was shaken.

You see, it's common in our culture to want to wear hijab after marriage. to stop smoking after marriage. to pray five times a day after marriage, to finish reading the Quran after marriage. Basically, to be a muslim (one who fully submits to Allah) after marriage.

When is the wedding?

We lean our ambitions on something so uncertain. Like applying to a university that is not yet there. We don't know when it's going to exist or if it will ever exist, yet we want to be graduates of that university.

But, Allah taught me today that, in all that uncertainty..death is CERTAIN.

and it certainly comes at any time Allah wishes it.

So should we strive to be better any time we have a chance to because death, which is certain can come to us at any time or should we wait for a day (even if it isn't our wedding day) that is uncertain for us to be better...we might never see that day..we might never be better to Allah.

"Dan bersegeralah kamu kepada ampunan dari Tuhanmu dan kepada surga yang luasnya seluas langit dan bumi yang disediakan untuk orang-orang yang bertaqwa."

(Ali Imran: 133)

mr.OS

i worked hard to get to a place not everyone can reach.
i own things not everyone can own.
in fact, i can achieve much more than this if i want to.
i am undeniably better than many people i know.
-Obnokschus Subconschus.


For OS to be telling the truth that he(or she, if you like) has the right to claim posession of the trophy for his success and more to come, he needs to at least be able to prove that..

he has been breathing self-made air to arrive at success :) no?

OS can be us in our good days. Feeling so proud being at the top (of whatever little bumps, even). Subconciously feeling better from people we (ever so subtly sometimes) perceive as being non-bump members.

The fact is though, look around...our bumps arent all that big anyway. Not putting ourselves down, but we are dependent for air, resources from the soil and water we can't make from scratch, the most basic things for us to succeed.

And yes, just like OS, we do not have full control over life neither are we self-sufficient in our journey to success. We cant guarantee anything.

It's almost embarassing then, for a moment to think of the times (hopefully not all the time) we feel ..simply put, better than others.


-talk about being thick =P

I didnt get to choose families.

Let's talk about the picture.

This was in a dusty classroom. Those were the walls and the door.
The classroom's desks were made into operating tables.
Electricity isnt an affordable luxury too.

Improper? very much.

But it had to be done. Just so they wont need to consult "doctors" who offer a cheaper-than-hospital price for their "service", which has caused life-threatening bleeding in the past.

One of those days I was in Cambodia, I realized that instead of being fated to be born into my family...I could've easily be one of these poor malnourished children. It is COMPLETELY out of my control, in which country, let alone in which family I was born into.

So, then do they deserve a different treatment from the doctors than the kings, who with all due respect happen to be chosen to be born into their families?

Absolutely not =)

May we all be doctors with a GOLDEN standard of care to all. Insha Allah.